


I Wouldn't Hesitate (to smile while you suffocate and die)

by dls



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Tony Stark, Civil War Team Iron Man, Gen, Marvel Trumps Hate 2018, Not A Fix-It, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2020-08-10 22:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20143174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dls/pseuds/dls
Summary: Once, Tony Stark would have done anything to keep the Avengers together. If he were a better man, a lesspettyman, he would simply want nothing to do with them, but he wasn't. Not according to his former teammates. So now, he was going to do everything he could to keep them away.Or: 5 Times the Avengers Thought Tony Stark was Petty (when he wasn't) and the 1 Time He Leaned Into His Pettiness (with amazing results)





	1. Fic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [esteefee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/esteefee/gifts).

> A bonus creation for [Marvel Trumps Hate](https://marveltrumpshate.tumblr.com/) fandom auction. 
> 
> This was the fic I was going to write for the lovely and generous esteefee but it didn't want to cooperate so I ended up writing [(you can't tell me that you ain't) Never Been Wrong Before](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18678394) instead. I've always meant to come back to the idea of Tony leaning into his so-called pettiness and I'm happy to say that it's finally done! 
> 
> Thank you esteefee for your support and here's a surprise fic! ❤
> 
> Beta-ed by [Arboreal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arboreal/pseuds/Arboreal).
> 
> References/Quotes:   
Title from "Choke" by IDKHow.   
_Iron Man 2_. _Avengers_. _Avengers: Age of Ultron_. _Captain America: Civil War_.

**One**.

Clint eyed the steep drop with trepidation; it was hell of a long way down. Like the rooftop he was perched on, the building was all sleek metal and shiny glass, no handy ledges to slow his descent.

"Stark, where the hell are you?" He hissed, squinting against the afternoon sun to catch a glimpse of the gaudy red and gold armor.

"Three minutes out."

Which was eight minutes late and Clint said exactly that.

"Considering I saved us twenty-three minutes of fighting when I shot up the command panel, I'd say I'm actually fifteen minutes early." Stark was unbearably smug as usual.

Clint gritted his teeth. The command panel was supposed to be his target. "What the fuck?"

"Language." Steve chided but there was no heat behind the reprimand. He was probably thinking the exact same thing Clint was, how Stark went off of the script again so he could be the star of the show.

"Just doing what you told me to do." Stark retorted. "FRIDAY, play it back for Birdbrain."

_Would it kill you to help out once in a while? Or is your heart really a shriveled up piece of metal?_

Clint scoffed as his own voice floated across the communication system, a snippet of their last team meeting where Stark had flippantly told them he wasn't paid enough for the gig. "Thanks for the reminder." He snapped, heavy with sarcasm and light on humor. "But I already know you're a petty dick."

**Two. **

"Natashalie!" Stark bellowed, beckoning her over to the kitchen with a wave.

She ignored him. If he wanted her company, he could learn to ask for it like a civilized person and use her actual name. And if he wanted to be part of this team, he should stop behaving like a child and let go of this grudge he had been nursing since their first meeting.

All Stark seemed to remember was the deception necessary for her to observe him, conveniently forgetting the part where she had slowed the palladium poisoning with an injection of lithium dioxide. Typical of a narcissist, he had to be both the hero and the victim of every story.

Unfortunately, Stark wasn't deterred by her silence. "Natashalie!" He sang as he pointed at the coffee pot with a flourish, ever the showman.

"That's not my name." She kept the scorn off of her face, because she was capable of being professional, but let a bit of ice slip in her voice. A warning that if Stark were the genius he liked to claim he was, he should heed immediately.

"I know, it's two of your names." Stark grinned proudly, as if he was expecting praise for something so asinine.

It looked like she had to spell things out for him. Natalie Rushman was one of her many identities and Stark wasn't the first mark she had tricked. He needed to stop thinking he was special, that his plight was unique, because that entitlement was unbecoming and unfitting of an Avenger.

Stark's face fell as she told him exactly that. His mouth opened a few times but no sounds came out.

Good, he was capable of learning.

Natasha didn't set foot in the kitchen; no amount of caffeine could top the euphoria of victory that she was feeling.

**Three.**

Sam scoffed as he watched Stark strut across the stage. With the way that man was preening, it was like he was walking down a runway. The rest of the Avengers had already been seated because they were professionals who could understand a simple concept like being on time.

Judging by the set of Steve's jaw, Stark was going to get an earful after the press conference. On top of the earful he was going to get for going off on his own during the fight again Doom's robots.

"What are you so happy about, Sam-I-Am?" Stark nudged his shoulder against Sam's, right as Steve announced that they would be taking questions.

"How about you keep your mouth shut?" Sam hissed through his clenched teeth; lips pulled into something like a smile for the cameras. "The grown-ups are talking."

Stark reared back, a look of confusion flitted across his face, confirming Sam's theory that no one had reprimanded him before. Typical rich kid raised by the help.

"With the damage reports rolling in, have you given any thoughts to how the Avengers can help with the relief efforts?"

Steve frown. "Damage report? What-"

"I can answer that." Stark interrupted, all cocky grin and smug attitude. "The Stark Relief Foundation is coordinating with local agencies to find housing for those who had been displaced..."

Sam could barely hear Stark's voice over the rushing in his ears, which was probably a good thing because if he had to listen to one more self-congratulatory word coming out of Stark's mouth, he would have decked the man. Cameras or no cameras.

This was what happened with rich kids not raised right by their parents, they turned into spoiled brats who did something just because they were told not to.

**Four.**

Objectively speaking, the Avengers Compound was nice. Open windows and new appliances and so many amenities that Wanda almost believed that Stark was truly trying to make amends by offering her a new place to call home.

Almost.

Because her home was with her family and Stark had taken them away from her. Their absence was a permanent hole in her heart that no lap pool or screening room could fill. It was offensive that Stark would even think to buy her forgiveness, let alone put that thought into action.

To add insult to injury, the act itself was an empty one. The Compound was located in Upstate New York, an area with more open fields than houses and more trees than people. Nothing like Manhattan, a city full of glamour and excitement and camera flashes that Stark selfishly kept for himself.

Stark had told them that the location's distance from more populated neighborhoods would limit any possible collateral damage. He had no answers when Wanda pointed out that they wouldn't need to worry about people getting hurt if he stopped making murderous robots.

Wanda knew the real reason he wanted them in the middle of nowhere instead of the Avengers Tower, which he had since changed the name back to Stark Tower.

For all Stark claimed that there were no hard feelings about leaving the Avengers, he was clearly feeling vindictive about being asked to leave. Why else would he banish the real heroes to the middle of nowhere?

**Five. **

"That shield doesn't belong to you."

Steve's jaw stiffened with restraint, biting back reprimands that hadn't improved Stark's attitude in the past and definitely wouldn't help the situation now. Not with Bucky leaning heavily against his side, right arm limply draped over his shoulder and left arm... Rage flared and for a second, Steve almost turned back to finish what Stark had started. As quickly as it had come, it faded when Bucky let out a pained noise, reminding Steve of what was important and who should be his priority.

It was almost funny how the man Stark had tried to kill just saved his life but Steve didn't feel like laughing.

"You don't deserve it." Stark continued to spit vitriol, the telltale sign of a sore loser. At least he had the sense to stay down. When push came to shove, Stark didn't have what it took to be a hero, to do the right thing. He would always talk big but never walk tall, unable to commit to his conviction and plant his feet against the shifting landscape. A coward who would rather cut the wire than lay down on it.

Steve kept walking.

"My father made that shield!"

Howard hadn't wanted Steve to have the shield, claiming it was a prototype and citing limited resources, flimsy excuses to hide his selfishness and insecurity that Steve could do more with his technology on the frontlines than a scientist could in a lab.

Like father, like son.

Petty to the end.

The shield hit the ground with a dull clang. Let the Starks keep their shiny toys, Steve knew that it took more than gadgets to be great. It had to come from within and Stark had a bad heart even before Afghanistan.

**One. **

There was a piece of food stuck in the new guy's bottom teeth.

Tony squinted at the screen, trying to figure out what it could be. He had tuned out the Avengers' voices long ago, somewhere between Barton's dismissal of Tony's injuries from Siberia because he didn't die and Maximoff's non-sequitur comment about Tony killing her parents.

Or maybe earlier, when Wilson offered to help Tony become a better teammate after Romanoff brought up Tony's ego, again, as the root of the problem.

Or possibly even before that, when Rogers began the video call with a smile as if all was forgiven because he had sent a letter that said too little and came too late.

In the end, though, Tony supposed it didn't really matter when he stopped listening, what mattered was that their words no longer carried any weight. Instead of feeling crushed by their disapproval, he dismissed it with a shrug of his shoulders with an unexpected ease that felt like an epiphany, like freedom.

Looking back, he couldn't understand why he had thought those were goodnatured jibes among teammates. There was nothing friendly about hits that always landed in his sore spots and kept coming even when he was down, but he had been too busy looking ahead to see what was happening around him, envisioning a future built on blind faith.

His eyes were wide open now, finally seeing the _Earth's Mightiest Heroes_ for who they were instead of what he had hoped them to be.

And they were a bunch of entitled assholes, refusing to claim any responsibility or accept any consequences, illusions of grandeur fueled by the deluded belief that Tony owed them and therefore must do everything in his power to bring them back to their rightful place atop the superhero pedestal.

Tony had his fair share of regrets, mistakes he wished to undo and amends he still had to make, but the exile of the Avengers wasn't one of them. Not when he realized that he hadn't kept fighting after losing the so-called Civil War _despite _a broken team. No, he had fought _to spite_ the broken team.

"-I know it's your default mode but try not be so fucking petty, Stark." Barton sneered, disdain etched in every line of his face and displayed clearly in the freakishly high resolution of Wakanda technology. "Pull some strings with your politician buddies and get us back home."

It was hilarious how they thought they knew him, how they believed he had been working against rather than with and for them, how they had no idea what _petty_ really looked like on Tony Stark.

But they would learn soon enough.

Tony disconnected the call with a wave of his middle finger.

*

Tony smoothed a hand down the impeccable line of his suit, bespoke instead of titanium-gold alloy. This was a different kind of battle, fought with words instead of fists but every bit as deadly. He chose a familiar face from the roomful of reporters; Pat, who had covered the aftermath of the Chitauri Invasion and seen the damage they had left behind firsthand.

"Mr. Stark, what are your feelings on the Senate's push for the President to pardon the Avengers?"

"The Ex-Vengers, you mean? Since they, in the loosest sense of the word, retired when they fled the country?" Tony quipped, an effective first cut to publicly sever the toxic ties between him and the people who had continually stabbed him in the back instead of covering it. He was done cleaning up and containing their mess behind closed doors; it was time to air out all the dirty laundry.

Shark-like grins stretched across every face, teeth gleaming and ready to clamp onto the jugular of a good story. There was blood in the water and, for once, it wasn't Tony's.

"Leaving aside the fact that the presidential pardons wouldn't do much for the international crimes they've committed?" The pardon would be more symbolic than useful but could still get the ball rolling in a direction he didn't want it to go. It was best to stop it before it could gain any momentum. "I'd like to remind everyone that SHIELD once took in a host of unsavory characters, Nazi scientists and Russian spies just to give you guys some examples. And, well, look at how that blew up in their face."

"Are you saying that people shouldn't get second chances?" An older man called out in a nasally voice. There was always one Captain America sympathizer but luckily, they were outnumbered these days.

"Since those words literally didn't come out of my mouth, no." Tony sidestepped the baiting question with ease and steered the focus in a different direction. "What I am saying is that second chances shouldn't be given indiscriminately, which is why the amended Accords contains a stipulation requiring all new members to undergo a thorough evaluation process."

Multiple voices called out for information on the amended Accords, details of the evaluation process, and the identities of these new members.

Tony answered the first two readily, presenting facts and justifications with the same confidence as he took to the sky in his armor. "As for the identities of the newest Avengers, you'll just have to wait and see."

"So did you recruit them to replace the Avengers?" The same Captain America sympathizer sneered and was promptly elbowed by someone next to him for breaking the unspoken one-question-each rule.

"No, they stepped up when the Ex-Vengers left." Tony countered. "And they bring a lot of unique skill sets to the team."

"What do you mean by unique? Like the Scarlet Witch?" A petite brunette raised her hand, her nose wrinkling as if she smelled something foul.

"I would say so and since this person has excellent control, they're actually an upgrade."

None of the reporters missed that Tony's comment was an indirect confirmation that there would be a magic user on the new team, which renewed their interest in finding out more about the new Avengers.

"Will there be someone with Black Widow or Hawkeye's skills in infiltration and interrogation?"

"No but those skills aren't really unique, are they?" Tony arched his eyebrows meaningfully. "If a situation arises where we need assistance in those areas, we will liaise with the CIA or FBI or NSA for one of their qualified agents to lend a hand."

"What about air support?"

"You're looking at him." Tony replied flippantly, eliciting a round of chuckles, then continued. "In addition to Iron Man and War Machine, we will have two other members who can fly. One with specialized equipment and one without."

"How do you plan to fill the gap left by Captain America? He's the only super soldier left, isn't he?"

The question might have been framed around Rogers but Tony could tell his interest was in the possibility of another super soldier serum. He made a mental note to have FRIDAY look into his background, if the A.I. hadn't already started the process. His girl was learning and growing every day.

"It's true that we haven't been able to duplicate the super soldier serum, but we have achieved the same results with technology. Hell, I'd say better results. It took two super soldiers to bring me down in my suit, after all." He sighed dramatically, once again pivoting the conversation. "You'd think that someone who represents justice and liberty and whatever would fight fair. Or, at the very least, tell the truth."

"Does this mean you'll refuse to work with Ex-Vengers?"

Tony rewarded Christine with an exaggerated wink. While she had sounded accusatory, she had also used the new moniker. "It means I'm a law-abiding citizen and don't associate with wanted criminals. Especially the ones who tried to kill me."

A balding man cleared his throat. "What would you do if they were pardoned?"

"I'd be very disappointed with our justice system and our Commander in Chief. So disappointed that I'd move to one of my many properties in Europe."

The crowd erupted with shouts for clarification.

Tony could only imagine the scene at the White House right now, though it probably paled in comparison to the spectacle in Wakanda when the Ex-Vengers realized - or, more accurately, when someone with actual understanding of how politics worked explained to them - that Tony just took away their get-out-of-jail-free card. Because Ellis had made some lofty promises during his reelection campaign and he wouldn't want to spend the entirety of his second term dealing with the financial fallout of the century. The man might be a fan of Captain America but he wasn't going to throw his legislative agenda aside for his childhood hero.

Mouth quirked in a half grin that was all teeth, Tony stared into the cameras and declared his victory. "Stark Industries isn't tied to the United States the way Captain America is."


	2. Moodboard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to move the moodboard to the fic instead of having it as its own work. Apologies for any confusion!

**Author's Note:**

> [dls-ao3.tumblr.com](https://dls-ao3.tumblr.com/)


End file.
